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04/20/2009 - Philadelphia, PA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - We'll call it a T.E.E. Party.
The Total Elimination of Entertainers from professional golf tournaments.
This new movement of ours will involve picket signs, slogans, phone calls to congressmen, op-ed pieces, sponsorship by golf pundits, original protest songs, a couple of well-paid lobbyists and, of course, portable toilets.
It deserves our best effort. And we deserve a place to relieve ourselves.
You must pay attention. You simply must focus, because those who seek to quash this movement will pounce quickly. We must be swift and relentless; we must move with the agility of Camilo Villegas.
The time has come for golf fans to get behind an idea.
The time has come -- good God, at last the time has come! -- to finally rid ourselves of Pro-Ams.
Yes, the time has come to admit that Bill Murray's schtick on the golf course is older than St. Andrews; to admit that we don't enjoy knowing George Lopez's scrambling stats any more than we care to watch his television show; to realize that what should be most important to us is the professional product on the course.
Let me paint you a picture.
It's Sunday, about 1:20 p.m. (et). Jay Haas has a 15-foot birdie putt for sole possession of the lead at the Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am. Nick Price's scorecard is more colorful than Joseph's dreamcoat, and it looks like Haas may pick up his first win of the Champions Tour season.
But before Haas can take his putt on the TPC of Tampa Bay's 13th hole, he must first watch as Emmitt Smith lines up a 10-footer, misses it, then repeatedly smacks himself on the back of the head.
Haas finally gets his shot, and he too misses.
He finished sixth. Price won.
I ask you this: In what alternate universe are we living that a golfer competing for a paycheck and a small sliver of history, must wait to play while the NFL's all-time leading rusher lines up a bogey putt?
Another scene.
Joey Sindelar and Jeff Sluman, both within six or seven shots of the lead -- not in the mix, but hovering around par -- are grouped in a foursome that includes Murray, who's apparently on fire.
It appears the popular comedian (Full Disclosure: My own fandom is undeniable and rabid) has added a new bit to his Pro-Am repertoire. He places money in the cup before each player takes his turn.
Yikes. But it doesn't stop there. Perhaps not fully satisfied with the gallery's response to his OK-for-a-Sunday-outing-but-out-of-place-at-a-real- golf-tournament antics, Murray unveils his impression of Villegas' famous "Spiderman" crouch.
Two skits on one green, and it wasn't even a record for Murray.
Let me be clear: There is no amount of mugging for the camera that Murray can do that will ever get me to laugh at him on a golf course again.
He can throw sand at the camera one more time; drop his putter and feign cockiness one more time; throw his golf ball over the stands after hinting that he would throw it into the crowd one more time; flex his fifty-something biceps one more time; wear one more funny hat; put on one more funny pair of glasses -- I'm simply done with Murray on the golf course.
Except, of course, during one of the dozen or so times I watch Caddyshack every year.
How did it come to this? When did these Pro-Ams morph from an interesting idea to get fans and charities involved in golf tournaments, into bad re-runs of mediocre sit-coms?
"Hey, jerk, weren't you the one who defended Inge Hammond's claim that Justin Timberlake was one of the best things to happen to the PGA Tour since Tiger Woods?"
Yes, that was me. But when was that, last October? That's like a whole presidency ago. Time heals all wounds, they say. But then there's that other saying: Time wounds all heels. Irrelevant and confusing? Diversion complete.
It does raise an interesting point. We'll call it the Timberlake Corollary. These Pro-Ams have a knack for raising money and awareness for noble causes, and that shouldn't be ignored.
Murray and Lopez, among many others, should be commended for their dedication in that respect.
But, please, let us then keep these Pro-Ams where they belong -- on Wednesday, before the real tournament begins. If the entertainers and athletes would like to stick around (schtick around) for the weekend, let them walk in the gallery, work in hospitality tents, sign autographs.
It would be enough to keep the crowds coming, the money flowing.
There's just simply no compelling reason, no justification, for having these men and women play in actual rounds with actual professional golfers anymore -- and certainly not during a final round like what occurred Sunday on the Champions Tour.
How absurd would it be if, during some Super Bowl in the '90s, Haas walked onto the gridiron and kicked a field goal while Smith's Dallas Cowboys were huddled for a fourth-down conversion?
There are ample reasons to put an end to the antiseptic entertainment that has come to define these distracting Pro-Ams, and few reasons to keep them around.
On Friday, Murray almost killed a woman when he hooked his drive badly out-of- bounds and into her front yard, striking her.
So it seems the Pro-Am has given us another reason to work for its repeal.
It's literally dangerous.
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1. Detroit Lions (0-16) - Matthew Stafford, QB,
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Chicago, IL - New Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and star linebacker Brian Urlacher shot down reports of a rift, saying they're simply not true.
"There's nothing between us," Cutler said Thursday, when he reported to training camp. "I just want to put that to rest. There never has been anything between us."
Urlacher added: "I never said what I was quoted as saying and that's it. I have a lot of respect for Jay. I think Jay knows that."
Former Bears receiver Bobby Wade caused a stir when he told Minneapolis radio station KFAN-AM that Urlacher used a profanity while questioning Cutler's manhood during a conversation in Las Vegas last weekend. Wade, who now plays for the Vikings, said Urlacher used a profane version of the word "wimp" during the interview that had to be edited out.
go radio station WSCR-AM also reported that Urlacher had to be restrained from confronting Cutler during organized team activities.
"I wouldn't go face-to-face with Brian, anyway," Cutler said. "No, that's never happened. I've hung out with Brian away from the facility numerous times and we've always gotten along."
Urlacher, noting he was limited by a groin injury, denied the reports in an interview with the Chicago Tribune and did it again when he reported to camp.
"I didn't practice this summer, so I don't know how I would fight the guy if I didn't practice," Urlacher said. "We have no problems. I'm excited about football starting. I'm excited to have him as our quarterback."
Why would Wade say that?
"I don't know," Urlacher said. "Maybe he's jealous because we have a good quarterback now."
Cutler said the first he heard of any friction was when he got a call from Urlacher to clear the air. Urlacher, however, said he had already taken several calls from teammates wondering if the reports were true when Cutler phoned.
"He called me and I said, What's up (expletive), what are you doing?'" a grinning Urlacher said, uttering the same word he allegedly used with Wade. "It's so dumb to me that this even got to this point, but it did and then here we are."
better place after going 9-7 and missing the playoffs for the second straight year. They have a franchise quarterback for the first time in decades after acquiring Cutler in an offseason trade with Denver. But there are questions about his attitude following a fallout with Broncos management and new coach Josh McDaniels.
His critics include former Bears coach Mike Ditka and former Indianapolis and Tampa Bay coach Tony Dungy, one of Smith's mentors. Smith, however, said Cutler has been a model teammate so far while denying any animosity with Urlacher.
"There's no issue with Jay and Brian, except Brian and Jay are both excited about being teammates for our club this year," coach Lovie Smith said. "No more than that. We can't spend a whole lot of time on something that isn't true. I have talked to the players. Whenever something comes out, you have to address it, but it's a non-issue."
In some ways, Cutler is getting a second chance in Chicago, an opportunity to repair his reputation.
Smith said another quarterback - Michael Vick - deserves one, although he doesn't see it happening with the Bears, who lack an experienced backup. The former Atlanta Falcons star, who served a 23-month sentence for running a dogfighting ring, said Thursday he is getting close to signing with a pro football team.
"A second chance, like everyone in society who has paid their debt to society," Smith said. "He deserves a second chance. As far as we're concerned, we like this team that we have right now."
Particularly the new quarterback.
"Me and Brian have been on a good relationship since I've been here, and I expect it to continue that way," Cutler said.
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After all the trouble that’s ensued since Braylon Edwards allegedly punched one of LeBron James’ homeboys in the face at a club, the Cleveland Browns have sent away their last remaining player of worth to the New York Jets. This is a great move for Dirty Sanchez and all, but it’s even better for the Knicks. Now Donnie Walsh can say, “You get to haunt Braylon Edwards with your posse if you sign here!” next summer.
Putting that aside for a moment, the move is a clear indication that the new-look Jets are gunning for the Super Bowl this year. I don’t think that New York thought that Dirty Sanchez was going to be such a rock star. With a 75.2 passer rating that was killed against the Jets, Sanchez is doing an admirable job of managing games and putting the Jets in a position to win. The defense has been the major story in New York thus far, but the acquisition of Braylon Edwards makes this offense loaded with talent that can dent any defense…as long as Dirty Sanchez continues his meteoric rise.
Thus far, Edwards has been a non-factor in the NFL piling up just 139 receiving yards on 10 catches. He has yet to find the endzone, and with the Browns mired in the most unsexy quarterback controversy of all time (Anderson vs. Quinn...yawn), there going nowhere fast. Edwards is two seasons removed from a career year which saw him catch 80 passes for 1,289 yards and 16 touchdowns when the Browns were the spread killing monsters of 2007. In 2008, injuries slowed the receiver down to just 873 yards and three touchdowns though he played in all 16 games.
So that being said, we really don’t know if Braylon Edwards is just a flash in the pan, or a legit threat. At 6-foot-3 and 215 pounds, he is a prototypical receiver. But he’s also shown a strange, and unwarranted, talent for dropping passes. Lining up opposite Jericho Cotchery, a speed demon with 23 catches, 356 yards and a single touchdown, may give Braylon the open looks he needs. A change of scenery may also rejuvenate the star receiver.
In return, the Browns will receive Chansi Stuckey, online football betting a special teams player you’ve never heard of and a pair of draft picks. That’s a tall order for a guy whose only real value right now is in his name, and it shows no promise to the Browns that they can rebuild around those acquisitions. Braylon was the only reason to hope for the Browns to go 3-14 SU this year. Without him, they don’t have a single guy on offense that can scare any team.
For the Jets, it’s a response to the pounding that they took at the hand of the Saints. Thomas Jones and Leon Washington have averaged around 4.0 yards per carry each on the ground, but striking a fair balance between the passing and rushing attacks in New York has been a struggle. You have to believe that the trio of Dustin Keller, Jericho Cotchery and Braylon Edwards will give Sanchez the weapons he needs to unleash through the air. Theoretically, that would open up holes for the rushing game. But the proposed public option health care plan works in theory too. We need to see the proof in the pudding before we start loading up mega bucks on the New York Jets to take the AFC.
The one wrinkle in this whole thing is that Braylon could very well be suspended by the league for disciplinary action due to his “brawl” with LeBron’s friend. If that’s the case, the Jets may have to bench him for a few games leaving them with a somewhat depleted receiving corps for a few games. Also, this is a guy who gets in fights with people at clubs. New York may not be the best place for him. Just sayin’.
The Jets have a long week before they meet the Miami Dolphins on Monday Night Football Betting in a virtual pick ‘em game. Braylon’s excess baggage may be a distraction, and his curiously low production may be what we should be expecting of him overall, but for the Jets, taking a chance to strike gold is well worth it. At the end of the year, they can simply just blame it on their rookie quarterback.
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